Unwanted
by BeHiNdThEsHaDoWs45
Summary: Rachel goes to live with Elizabeth after a tragic event, but Elizabeth makes a big mistake. This is an old story, I just found it buried in my hard drive. COMPLETE.


Title of story: Unwanted

Description: Takes place 3 months after Mark dies. Something horrible happens to Rachel, and she goes to Elizabeth for comfort. Elizabeth makes a huge mistake, how can she deal with it? Based on the songs Vindicated by Dashboard Confessional, Behind Blue Eyes by Limp Bizkit, Run by Snow Patrol, and Missing by Evanescence.

Spoilers: A simple twist of fate, On the beach

Note: There are a few things I changed. In the ER story. Elizabeth never went to England, she stayed in Chicago, but was taking care of Ella when the virus hit the hospital. In this story Ella is about three. This also involves some Kerry/Susan friendship. Don't worry no slash or anything, Kerry is with Sandy! I know that I'm working on 'Just a Regular Day In the ER' but this is a story I wrote about a year ago and pulled up on my old computer. Okay. Read it now. It's a complete story, so you won't have to worry about updates. Nice and long! Review please.

_**I'll sing it one last time for you**_

_**Then we really have to go**_

_**You've been the only thing that's right**_

_**In all I've done**_

It was three months after Mark had died. Elizabeth sat on her couch, reading a newspaper, watching Ella play in her crib. All of a sudden, a frantic knocking came at the door. Elizabeth rose quickly, and walked to the door.

"Please! Open up!" cried a frightened voice.

Elizabeth opened the door, and was surprised at what she saw. Rachel stood there, dressed in jeans and a tight sweater, tears streaming down her cheeks.

She quickly beckoned Rachel in, a bit annoyed at the prospect of her showing up. She had almost killed Ella after all. Rachel sat down on the couch.

Rachel wiped her tears and took deep breaths, and smiled slightly when she saw Ella. Elizabeth's mother instincts took over her. "I will put Ella to bed, she doesn't need to be around this much stress" she said, picking up the baby girl, "I'll be right back. Dry your eyes."

Rachel was a bit surprised at her coldness, but wiped her tears with her sweater sleeve. She shivered slightly, watching the rainfall outside. Elizabeth came back and sat down next to her. Rachel turned towards her. "I hope this isn't an inconvenience-

"It is." Elizabeth cut her off, "but I suppose I have time to listen to why you are here."

A lump formed in Rachel's throat. She managed to hold it in.

Flashback 

_Rachel kissed Luke on the lips, their tongues both tasting of beer. "I'll see you later, girl. Love you." He said._

_She hugged him. "I love you too."_

_He left and trudged down the porch steps. She opened the door, only to be greeted by a punch in the face. "What the HELL do you think you were doing!" Craig shrieked, looking down at Rachel, dazed, lying on the front porch._

_"CRAIG! STOP IT!" shrieked Jen. _

_"Shutup bitch! She deserves it!"_

_Jen's face was helpless as he fixed her with a glare. "I suppose she does. I'm going to bed." _

_"MOOOM!" Rachel shrieked, but was greeted by a swift kick in her side. Craig yanked her up by her shirt collar, and screamed obscene words in her face. Rachel sobbed openly. He shook his head, grabbed her arm, and dragged her to his bed. Rachel's eyes were wide with horror as he pulled down his pants………_

_Rachel wandered down the road, far from her neighborhood. She couldn't believe Craig had raped her. He'd used a condom, so she didn't want to get tested for anything. She wrapped her arms around herself, tears running down her cheeks. She needed relief bad. She remembered the ecstasy Luke's older brother had given to her. She took some out of her back pocket, and swallowed. She trudged down the road, laughing, her eyes used to the blurry world surrounding her. She fell asleep on a bench a few hours later, and woke up, nightmares haunting her. _

_ She cried for a few minutes, then realized she had an escape. Another, besides drugs. She had a knife tucked in her coat, unless anyone tried to attack her. She was going to use it for something else. She carefully looked down the road, to make sure no one was coming. She rolled up her sweater sleeve, and lowered the blade slowly to her arm………_

_ She was sitting on the train, rubbing her aching arm, hoping to god Elizabeth would take her in. She couldn't help it. She began to cry._

End Flashback 

"Craig did some things that upset me and I left" she said quickly, "and, I, well I said I'd stay clean, but I just did a little bit of ecstasy, but I was just so wrong, you know? Oh, Elizabeth, I swear to god I'll never do it again if you just let me live with you!" Rachel said quickly. This was definitely not the best way to ask Elizabeth about staying.

Elizabeth's mouth hung open. She was appalled by the way Rachel stated everything, and didn't notice the hurting in the girl's eyes.

"Rachel" she said softly, "come here. Right in front of me."

Rachel walked in front of her stepmother and sat, her head level with Elizabeth's knees.

"Look at me" Elizabeth said sharply, her voice shaking from hidden anger. Rachel looked up at her face, wanting more than anything to hug her.

Elizabeth drew back her hand, and slapped Rachel hard across the face. This she did not expect. A red handprint formed on her face. She was so stunned that she couldn't cry.

"Wh-'

Rachel was cut off by another sharp slap across her face.

"You think this is easy for you!" Elizabeth screamed, tears in her eyes, as she slapped her constantly, almost after every sentence she spoke, "YOU CANT JUST LEAVE BECAUSE YOUR STEPFATHER SAID SOMETHING! YOU CANT JUST TAKE ECSTASY JUST BECAUSE YOUR SAD! YOU CANT ASK TO LIVE WITH ME WHEN I'VE GOT ELLA, YOU ALMOST KILLED HER LAST TIME! I KNOW I SAID YOU COULD SEE HER, BUT YOU CAN'T! RACHEL, I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER, EVEN IF ELLA MAY BE YOUR SISTER. I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER, I WOULDN'T WANT YOU AS A DAUGHTER, AND I COULD NEVER LOVE YOU LIKE ONE! SO GET OUT! GET OUT!" Rachel's face was raw from the slaps. She could understand Elizabeth's anger. But why? Why did she have to say that! It had hurt so much!

"I SAID GET OUT NOW!" Elizabeth screamed, slapping her again.

"Elizabeth wait! I have to tell you one thin-

"NO!" Elizabeth slapped her AGAIN. "GET OUT!"

Rachel scrambled up, heading for the door. She turned when she reached it. "But-

"OUT!" Elizabeth screamed as loud as she could.

Rachel threw herself out into the rain.

She slowly walked down the porch steps, rubbing her face. "But, I love you. Mom."

And I can barely look at you 

_**But every single time I do**_

_**I know we'll make it anywhere**_

_**Away from here**_

The next morning dawned gray and cloudy. Rachel sat in the park, watching children play and laugh with their mothers and fathers. _I might as well be an orphan _she thought _my mother lets her boyfriend rape me, my dad is dead, and the one guardian I love hates my guts. I'll never see my sister again._ The realization dawned upon her, and she just lost it. She started crying hard. She sobbed rather loudly into her hands, but strangely no one stopped and asked if she was alright. That was, until, she heard a familiar voice. "Raysul! Raysul!"

She looked up to see a good looking woman with long brown hair holding Ella. "Rachel, I presume?" she said softly, seeing the girls tear stained cheeks.

"Yes."

"And how do you know Ella?" the woman inquired, her voice gentle.

"She's my half sister."

"Oh! Well I was wondering! Ms. Corday dropped her off this morning at our center in a panic, and Ella was crying so I decided to take her for a walk, when she started yelling your name."

Rachel forced a smile and wiped her tears away. "Oh. Well, hi Ella."

"Raysul!" she cried, and wriggled herself out of the woman's arms. She sat on the bench next to her sister and smiled. "Wha wong Raysul?" Ella asked.

"Nothing, sweetie, nothing" she said, and placed Ella on her lap.

"Ya, u cwying" Ella replied.

"Don't worry about it sweetheart. Why don't you go with the nice lady back to daycare?"

The woman smiled softly, and took Ella in her arms.

"Bye Raysul. I wuv you." Ella said.

Tears welled up in Rachel's eyes. "I love you too, Ella."

Light up, light up 

_**As if you have a choice**_

_**Even if you cannot hear my voice**_

I'll be right beside you dear 

"Mommy!" Ella cried, as Elizabeth came to pick her daughter up.

"I really appreciate this, Stacey." She said to the woman with dark hair.

"It's no problem, really. She was a sweetheart." Stacey replied.

Elizabeth smiled quickly and took Ella's hand. They both got in the car and drove to the house. As Elizabeth was preparing dinner, Ella asked, "Mommy, wha wong with Raysul?"

Elizabeth was taken aback by the question. "Rachel? When did you see her?"

"Today. The Pawk. Raysul was on a bwench cwying. She swaid dwont worry. Mommy, wha wrong? I wuv Raysul."

"Well, you won't be seeing much of her" Elizabeth said, and noticed the hurt in her daughter's eyes. "She has done some very naughty things, Ella, and I don't think you should be around her."

"Bwut Mommy! She was cwying!" Ella persisted, banging her fists on the table. Ella began to cry.

"You need to go to bed early!" Elizabeth cried, and picked her struggling daughter up.

Rachel watched big-eyed from outside. She held a folded piece of yellow paper in her hand. She carefully placed it under the welcome mat, and left without a thought in her mind.

Louder, louder 

_**And we'll run for our lives**_

_**I can hardly speak I understand**_

Why you can't raise your voice to say 

"Raysul! Raysul!" Rachel looked up from the same park bench she had been sitting on yesterday.

"Ella?"

Stacey held the child in her arms. "She just loves you."

Ella wriggled free from Stacey's grip once again and perched herself on Rachel's lap.

"Is it okay if we have a bit of alone time?" Rachel asked Stacey. She nodded, and went to go sit on another bench.

"Mommy sways you dwid naughty thwings. She don't want me sweeing you. She don't cware I wuv you!" Ella exclaimed.

Rachel's heart broke.

"Sweetie, Rachel has done some naughty things. But Rachel is going Bye-Bye."

"Swaint Louis?" Ella inquired.

Rachel shook her head. "I have made a decision. You will understand when I'm older. Rachel is going bye-bye like Daddy."

"Die?"

A tear ran down Rachel's face. "Yes."

Ella reached up and brushed it away. "I wuv you!"

"I love you too. And I love your mother, tell her that."

"But why you die?" Ella wailed.

"I have to. I have no other option. Craig, he hit me, you know, like the bullies at school. And he raped me. I have no one to take care of me-

"I TAKE CARE OF YOU!" Ella screamed, tears pouring down her face, "he no beat you no more! Wape?"

"God" said Rachel, burying her head in her hands, "rape. Yes. You will understand when your older."

"I OLDER!" she hollered, getting a few looks from strangers.

"Alright, your upsetting her" said Stacey, and picked Ella up, "what on earth did you say?"

"Nothing I just-'

"DON'T GO RAYSUL! I WUV YOU!"

Rachel stifled a sob. "I love you…" she whispered. As soon as Ella was out of sight, she fled the park. The razor blade waited patiently in her back pocket.

To think I might not see those eyes 

_**Makes it so hard not to cry**_

_**And as we say our long goodbye**_

_**I nearly do**_

Elizabeth held Ella with her left arm. She had been quiet the entire ride home. "What's the matter?" she asked.

"Later." Was all Ella would say.

As Elizabeth unlocked the door, she saw a bright yellow piece of paper peek out from under the mat. She smiled and picked it up. They got in, and she set Ella on the couch. She unfolded the paper, and smiled brightly at what was on it. It was a beautiful sketch of her and Ella together. Ella began to cry silently.

When Elizabeth noticed this, she rushed over to her. "What is it sweetie?"

"Raysul says shes going bye-bye just like daddy. Die. She says has to. No one take cware of her."

"She said she was going to die?" Elizabeth asked.

Ella nodded her head.

"Suicide. But she has Jen and Craig, sweetheart, she's just confused right now."

"No! No! Craig beat her! She say he wape her too, bwut I donno what wape is…Craig bad!" Ella yelled, "SHE WUV YOU!"

"Oh god…." Elizabeth said, "what have I done?"

Slower, slower 

_**We don't have time for that**_

_**All I want is to find an easier way**_

_**To get out of our little heads**_

Elizabeth had called a babysitter, and asked Ella what park she saw Rachel in. She was now in her car, speeding over to Lincoln Park as fast as she could. When she pulled up to the front of the park, she saw a shadow stretch over the grass from the park lamp. She got out of her car.

She rushed to the figure hunched behind a tree. She saw Rachel, lowering a razor blade to the corner of her wrist. "Rachel!" she shrieked, and knocked the blade out of her hands.

Tears streamed down Elizabeth's face. Rachel was shocked. "Eliza-

But Elizabeth had slapped her. Stupid stupid stupid. "What on earth do you think you are doing? Why didn't you TELL me what Craig did to you?"

Rachel looked at her, as a tear slipped down her cheek. "Why do you care?" She then got up and ran as fast as she could across the street, and down the sidewalk, Elizabeth hot on her heels.

Rachel tripped and fell flat on her face, bleeding. Her jacket pushed up to her mid-back, and before she could cover it, Elizabeth saw the bruises. Rachel felt her stepmother's eyes on her and didn't move. Elizabeth gently hoisted her up with her arms. All of a sudden, she realized Elizabeth's eyes were the same color as Craig's. She began to scream loudly and sob at the same time, trying to get away from her.

"STOP! NO! STOP IT!" She screamed, trying to claw at Elizabeth's face. Elizabeth wrapped her arms around her, and Rachel began sobbing out loud into her chest. Elizabeth was crying too, and kissed her hair over and over again.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Elizabeth said, holding onto her stepdaughter, nothing would ever make her let go. Rachel eventually got tired of crying, and snuggled into her stepmother's chest, sleeping.

Elizabeth picked her up with ease, and placed her in the back seat. She eased Rachel's jacket off, but gasped when she saw the cuts leading from her wrist to her shoulders. She shook her head. She bent down and kissed Rachel's forehead, and got in the driver's seat.

_**Have heart, my dear **_

_**We're bound to be afraid **_

_**Even if its just for a few days **_

_**Making up for all this mess **_

Elizabeth came into the house, and gently set Rachel on the couch. She paid the babysitter and thanked her. She sat next to her stepdaughter on the couch, and placed her head on her lap. That was the first time Elizabeth really studied her face. There was a cut on her left cheek, badly hidden by cover-up. There was a bruise round the back of her neck, and a bruise in the shape of a handprint on her left arm. Elizabeth ran her thumb down Rachel's cheek, and brushed her hair out of her face.

Ella watched from the top step, as her mouth formed into a smile. "Raysul home." She whispered to herself.

_**Please, please forgive me**_

_**But I won't be home again**_

_**Maybe someday you'll look up**_

_**And barely conscious you'll say to no one**_

_**Isn't something missing?**_

Rachel opened her eyes. She was surprised because she was warm. She hadn't woken up warm in weeks. She looked up, and realized that her head was on Elizabeth's lap. Elizabeth was sleeping. _She looks so pretty _Rachel thought. Rachel's head spun. She remembered a bit of what had happened the night before. She remembered drinking an excessive amount, and trying to kill herself. She remembered crying. She remembered watching Elizabeth drive, as she shivered with silent sobs under the blanket. Elizabeth had done something. Rachel was scared. What if Elizabeth still hated her? Rachel loved her, and she was getting sick and tired of people she loved betraying her.

She rose from the couch. Elizabeth shifted slightly. She knew that her stepmother would be taking the day off today. She gently guided her to lay down, and draped an afghan over her. Rachel went to go make tea, but she heard crying coming from upstairs. _Ella _she thought. She crept up the steps quietly, and entered her younger sister's room. Ella looked up at her with a tearstained face. "Raysul!" she went over and hugged her.

"What's the matter, Ella?" Rachel asked.

"I see spider" she said, and pointed to the wall. Rachel shrugged her shoulders, and took off her shoe, and smashed the spider with it. Ella began to cry. Rachel wiped up the smashed spider with a paper towel, and then went over to comfort her sister. She picked her up and smiled. "It's okay, just a little spider, that's all." Ella tried to calm down, but the little girl was too upset.

The loud noise from the shoe and Ella's crying had woken Elizabeth up. She drowsily got up and climbed the steps. She remembered that Rachel was there, and suddenly had a flashback of when Ella had taken the ecstasy. She threw open the door to Ella's room, and saw Rachel holding her daughter, as she cried.

"It was just a spider, I killed it, but I guess it scared her pretty bad." Said Rachel calmly, but her face fell when she saw Elizabeth's angry expression.

"Give her to me." Elizabeth said gruffly, and took the child out of her arms and into her own. A loud boom of thunder scared Ella, and she clung to her mother tightly.

"I want you out." Elizabeth said sharply. Ella wailed louder.

Rachel stepped a bit closer to her. "But, it's raining, and-

"OUT! NOW!" Elizabeth drew back her hand, warning her. Rachel dug her teeth into her tongue to keep from crying. She walked out of the room slowly, down the stairs slowly, out the door slowly.

She stepped onto the porch, and as she walked down the porch steps, she slipped. She fell flat on her face. That's when she began to sob.

_**You won't cry for my absence I know**_

_**You forgot me long ago**_

_**Am I that unimportant?**_

_**Am I so insignificant?**_

_**Isn't something missing?**_

_**Isn't someone missing me?**_

Elizabeth placed a sleeping Ella in her bed. Guilt twisted her stomach every which way. She had been paranoid, thinking Rachel was a danger to Ella. She had to find her, she knew. She ran down the stairs, hopeful Rachel was still outside. She opened her front door, and saw Rachel, sprawled on the ground and shivering.

Elizabeth kneeled next to her on the wet pavement. "I'm so sorry…" she said, and touched Rachel's shoulder. Rachel just continued to cry. Elizabeth gently wrapped her arm around Rachel's stomach, and rolled her on her back. Rachel hiccupped, her sobs body-wracking.

"Rachel" Elizabeth said, "Rachel, calm down. Jesus, I'm sorry."

"I….." she sobbed, "love…..you."

Rachel sat up, and curled herself up in Elizabeth's lap, crying hard. Elizabeth wrapped her arms around her, and rocked her back and forth. "I love you too, I love you too."

_**Even though I'm the sacrifice  
You won't try for me, not now  
Though I'd die to know you loved me  
I'm all alone  
Isn't someone missing me?**_

Elizabeth gently guided Rachel into the house. "You do realize you need to call your mother?" she said, as softly as possible.

"Yes." Rachel said, "you want me to go back, I know."

"No, to tell her your staying with me. You can't live with a rapist."

Part of Rachel wanted to scream aloud and hug her, part of her wanted to break down. "How did you know about Craig?" she said quietly, and sat down on the couch. A tear slipped down her cheek.

"Ella. She mentioned what you said at the park. Rachel, I'm so sorry. It's a horrible thing." Elizabeth said, sitting down next to her.

"Yeah." she said. There was an awkward silence. Elizabeth watched her stepdaughter intently. Rachel's shoulders began to shake, and she placed a hand over her face.

"He hits her too…my mom...I-It just used to be her. I'd tell him to stop, but she said I was lucky. Not so lucky now, I guess. She watched him beat me. It's like there's no end. HE was the one who got me started on drugs. HE put the ecstasy in my backpack that almost killed Ella. Oh god, I almost killed Ella, I shouldn't even be here!" Rachel cried, "what if they come and find me?" It was like there was no end to her pain. Elizabeth held her close, rocking her, hoping that for one instance Craig could feel the pain this young girl felt. Rachel's face was buried in Elizabeth's sweater as she silently screamed all her troubles to the woman she now considered her mother. At that moment, Ella came downstairs.

"Mommy, wha wong with Raysul?" she asked loudly. Rachel pulled away from Elizabeth's arms, and tried to dry her eyes. Elizabeth smiled softly at her.

"Just a stupid little thing, sweetie. How are you?" Rachel said.

"I wanna play."

"Alright, I'll play with you."

"And I guess I'll make you girls some breakfast" Elizabeth said, and got up.

Rachel stood, and followed her into the kitchen. "Elizabeth?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks." Rachel said, nervously playing with a string hanging from her T-shirt. "No problem" Elizabeth said. She hugged Rachel quickly, then turned to the stove.

Rachel went into the living room to play with Ella.

_**Please, please forgive me**_

_**But I won't be home again**_

_**I know what you do to yourself**_

_**I breathe deep and cry out**_

_**Isn't something missing?**_

_**Isn't someone missing me?**_

Elizabeth stood at the stove, stirring the vegetable soup. She heard Ella's laugh, and Rachel's giggle. Her two girls. No, Rachel wasn't her daughter. Well, she might as well be. And Elizabeth had been hating her all this time because of what happened to Ella. It had been Craig who had put the ecstasy in her backpack. Maybe it was a lie, this was something she pondered, but she didn't think Rachel would lie. Again. The vegetable soup began to boil, and she ladeled it into two bowls for Rachel and her. She put one ladel full in Ella's small plastic bowl. "Dinners ready girls!" she cried.

Rachel came in, holding Ella in her arms. At that moment the phone rang. Elizabeth answered it. A few seconds passed. "Its for you, Rachel." She said.

Rachel took the phone, and went into the living room.

"Hello?"

"Rachel! Thank god! I was so worried! It's mom"

"I'm sorry, who?"

"Stop it, Rachel."

"No, because last time I checked, my mom didn't let her boyfriend rape and beat me."

"Craig will get better, I promise. You just have to obey his curfew and rules…

"Sure. Do you realize what he did was illegal?"

"Yes, but he is our financial support."

"You have a job."

"He made me quit it. Thought the boss was staring at me too much."

"Get out of there before he kills you."

"He's not going to kill me. You just need to come home."

All of a sudden there was a crackling, and a scream.

"HEY!" Rachel yelled, tears welling up in the back of her eyes.

"You better come home you little bitch, or your mother dies."

"It's not home you ass!"

"Listen whore, I'm going to say it one more time. Be here by Wednesday, or your mother gets a bullet to the head."

"That's in one week."

"Exactly. I have a treat for you when you get back. Bye, sexy." Craig hung up.

Rachel shivered. His tone disgusted her.

"Who was it?" Elizabeth asked.

"Some guy I met yesterday at the park."

"And you gave him THIS number?" Elizabeth inquired, raising her left eyebrow.

Rachel's face turned a beet red. "Well, I gave him my cell and I guess I had it written down on the same piece of paper. I carry your number around with me sometimes. Anyway, I hung up the phone and told him to call me on my cell and we talked about…..stuff."

Elizabeth laughed and took the cordless from Rachel's hand. Ella studied her sister's face. "Ready to eat?" Rachel said, trying desperately to hide her flustered appearance. The last thing Elizabeth needed was for her to cry again. They ate silently.

_**Even though I'm the sacrifice**_

_**You won't try for me….not now**_

_**Though I'd die to know you love me**_

_**I'm all alone**_

_**Isn't someone missing me?**_

Rachel curled up under the covers. She turned on her cell, and quickly went through her phonebook, until she got Luke's number. This would run a huge amount on her phone bill. Luke answered his phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey"

"Hey Baby, I haven't seen you forever."

"Yeah, I went back to Chicago."

"Why?"

"Craig raped me."

"THAT BASTARD! IM GOING TO KILL HIM!"

"I know, he threatened me. I'm staying with my stepmother."

"The one with the kid that took Craig's X?"

"Yeah."

"I thought she was a bitch."

"She was….still sorta is….no…I just love her, okay?"

"Okay."

"Hey listen Luke, do you still have that

gun?"

"Yes, why?"

"Well I-' Rachel looked up and saw Ella standing the doorway. "Raysul, the thunda scare me."

"Okay, just a second, hun" she turned back to her cellphone, "Luke, I have to go okay? My baby sister is afraid of the storm. Okay. Okay. Love you too. Bye."

Rachel turned back to Ella. "Do you want to sleep with me?"

Ella nodded. Rachel raised the covers, and Ella ran over to the bed, and jumped beneath the covers. She snuggled up to her sister, and they slept in peace as the storm raged outside.

_**And If I bleed, I'll bleed**_

_**Knowing you don't care**_

_**And if I sleep just to dream of you**_

_**And wake without you there**_

_**Isn't something missing? Isn't something…..**_

Elizabeth held a cup of coffee in her hand, tying the sash on her robe. It was raining extremely hard. She knew she had to go to work that night, so she figured she would take a nap in the afternoon. Meanwhile, she wanted to wake up Ella and Rachel. She went to Ella's room, and when she saw the bed was empty, she began to panic. She reached Rachel's room, and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Ella curled up against her.

"She was scared of the storm last night I'm guessing?" Elizabeth said aloud, startling Rachel and waking her up. Rachel smiled. "Yep."

"Do you want some breakfast?" she asked.

Rachel shook her head. "But Ella might."

Elizabeth nodded her head. "Let's give her an hour or so to sleep. I want to talk to you for a moment."

"Sure" Rachel said.

They walked downstairs into the living room, and sat on the couch together. "I don't know if I can take you in, legally. I mean Craig might bring up a lawsuit, and, well, I could lose you and Ella."

"He won't, I'll make sure of it." Rachel said, then realized her mistake.

"What do you mean?" Elizabeth asked.

"Nothing. I just don't think I will." Rachel answered.

"Okay…but all I am saying is, If something happens, I want you to be prepared." Elizabeth said.

"I will be. But I have to ask you a question now." Rachel stated.

"Alright."

"When you said, th-that you loved me, was it true, or just a spur-of-the-moment thing?" Rachel asked. She turned away, embarrassed.

Elizabeth was shocked at the question, but she couldn't blame Rachel for thinking that. Elizabeth tucked a strand of dirty blonde hair behind Rachel's ear. "Of course not Rachel. I do love you."

"Oh, Elizabeth" Rachel said, and hugged her, "I thought it was just because you felt bad, and I didn't know what to say. I feel awful thinking that you might have faked saying that, but now that I know that it's real, I love you a hundred times more."

The statement touched Elizabeth's heart. She smiled at her stepdaughter when they pulled away from each other. Deeply, truly, they were family. "Mommy?" Ella said from the top of the stairs. Elizabeth turned her head, and smiled at her daughter. "I hungry."

"Okay. Hey, girls, why don't we all get dressed, and we can go out for breakfast?" Ella and Rachel beamed excitedly, and went upstairs to change.

_**Even though I'm the sacrifice**_

_**You won't try for me, not now**_

_**Though I'd die to know you love me**_

_**I'm all alone**_

_**Isn't something missing?**_

_**Isn't someone missing me?**_

Denny's was loud and noisy that Thursday morning. After waiting for about twenty minutes, Elizabeth, Rachel, and Ella got a table. Elizabeth had a grand slam breakfast, Ella had French toast, and Rachel had some eggs and toast.

As they waited for their food, Rachel's cell began to vibrate. She looked at it. It was Luke. She told her sister and stepmother she was going to the bathroom. She rushed into the nearest stall and locked the door, and answered the phone.

"Hey, Luke."

"Hey, Baby. Why were you asking about my gun last night?"

"I need it. I'm coming into St. Louis late afternoon Wednesday."

"Why?"

"Craig threatened to kill my mom Wednesday if I didn't come back by then."

"Man, that guy is really fucked up."

"I know. I'm planning on shooting him when he threatens my mother, and in court tell them it was self defense."

"It sounds short and simple, but what are you going to do if something goes wrong?"

"Nothing is going to go wrong, Luke. I'm putting too much of my time into this."

"Yea, two phone calls IS a lot of time."

"Shutup Luke, don't be cynical. It's a huge bill, anyway. I am going back to Chicago Thursday morning, the interrogation should only last an hour or so. I'll tell Elizabeth I'm sleeping over at Angela's. She'll never suspect. I'll tell her my mom was fed up and SHE shot Craig."

"But who are you going to live with, Rach?"

"I want to live with Elizabeth, and I was hoping you would come to Chicago with me. You've graduated high school, and there's a hospital that she works at, you know you've always wanted to be a doctor."

"I'm not even in Med school yet."

"We could get you to a state college. I mean, come on, Luke, do you really want to live with your big brother the rest of your life?"

"Of course fucking not. But how are you going to convince Elizabeth to let me uh LIVE with you?"

"I'll tell her you're an old friend. She really is sweet, once you get to know her."

"Right, I'll have to think about it."

" Okay, but I'll need an answer by Tuesday."

"Kay, Babe. But hold on, in that plan there, what about your mother?"

"She could come with us."

"Elizabeth would let Jen stay with her?"

"Of course. If her boyfriend died."

"I dunno, Rach. But I'll think about it."

"No later than Tuesday, Luke."

"Okay, Okay, Chill. Gotta go now, I love you."

"Love you too, bye bye."

Rachel sighed and stuck her phone in her pocket. It was a fool-proof plan, or so she thought.

_**Restless tonight**_

_**Cause I wasted the light**_

_**Between both these times**_

_**I drew a really thin line**_

Rachel sat at the kitchen counter, tracing little circles with her fingers. Elizabeth was working tonight, so she had to babysit Ella. The night went by quickly. They ate dinner and watched a few Disney movies, and then Rachel put her to bed. Rachel sat on the couch, until the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Rachel, it's Elizabeth."

"Hey! Whats up? You sound shaky"

"Uh, well, I did the stupidest thing. I left my purse at the house, in my bedroom, do you think you could come by and drop it off for me?"

"Sure, but what about Ella?"

"Take her with you. She doesn't get to sleep for a few hours, anyway."

"Okay, I'll be right over."

"Thankyou so much. Love you, bye."

"Luv ya too, bye."

Rachel hung up the phone and went upstairs to get Ella. She told Ella to get on some warm clothes, seeing as it was raining again. She got Elizabeth's purse from her bedroom, and waited for her sister. Finally Ella emerged in jeans and a coat, and they walked outside. Rachel called a cab, and they both got in. "Cook County General, please." She told the cabbie.

_**It's nothing I planned**_

_**And it's not that I can**_

_**But you should be mine**_

_**Across the line**_

Ella yawned and kicked her feet. All of a sudden Rachel's cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Rach."

"Craig!"

"Your mother is really hoping you'll come home."

"You son of a bitch!"

"Hey, watch your language."

"I'm with my little sister now, so I will."

"What's her name? Emma?"

"Ella."

"Oh, of course. Hows the stepmonster doing?"

"She's my stepmother Craig, she's doing fine thankyou, and she takes a lot better care of me then you do."

"Look let's cut to the chase. If you don't come home in six days, your mother is dead."

"Fine, I'll come. Just don't hurt her. Tell her I love her."

"Sure thing, sweetie. I hope you are anticipating your surprise. Do you want to know what kind of surprise it is?"

"Hell if I know, Craig!"

"Hmm, you sound upset."

"Who wouldn't be! Jackass…"

"Hey! The little one's around you."

"Who are you to tell me that!"

"Your stepfather."

"Right. Just don't touch her, and I'll come home. Just don't hurt her, please!"

"Okay. Aren't you going to say you love me too."

"Oh come on Craig, don't push it."

"Hmm, well your mothers here with me. I guess I have to touch her…"

"Okay! I……love…you."

"What was that?"

"I-I love you."

"Louder!"

"I. Love. You."

"Say my name."

"I LOVE YOU CRAIG!" Rachel screamed, now in tears. Her fingers were crossed. She didn't mean to say it. She didn't. Ella looked up at her quizzically.

"I have to go." She said, and snapped the phone shut.

"Cwaig?" asked Ella, "why you love Craig?"

"I don't. I had my fingers crossed sweetie. He just, well-

"Cook County General. That will be 21.87 please." The cabbie interrupted.

Rachel sighed, paid the cabbie, picked Ella up, and got out..

_**If I traded it all, If I gave it all**_

_**Away for one thing**_

_**Just for one thing**_

_**If I sorted it all**_

_**If I knew how I'd fall**_

_**For one thing**_

_**Wouldn't that be something?**_

"Hi Ella! Hi Rachel!" Susan said as the two entered County.

"Hey Dr. Lewis, I'm looking for Elizabeth." Rachel replied, giving the doctor a little hug.

"Hmm, she's in a trauma right now, so I guess I'll page her."

"Okay, thanks. Nice to see you." Rachel said.

"Nice to see you too." she replied, "and for god sakes, call me Susan."

Rachel sat down in a chair. Kerry walked by, and waved at her. Rachel offered a smile in return.

Soon Elizabeth rounded the corner, smiling, but you could tell there were tears in her eyes. "Rachel!" she cried, "thank you so much!"

She got her purse, and kissed Ella on the cheek. "I'm off in twenty minutes. Can you wait?" she asked.

"Of course. Whats wrong?"

"Oh, the girl I just worked on. She died because her father beat her so badly." Elizabeth said, but was really thinking _ and it made me think of you and Craig, and what would happen if we would lose you._

Rachel nodded her head as Elizabeth got paged once more, and sent a cracked smile in her direction.

Carter walked by, smiled brightly at her, his arm around Abby. He gave her a sympathetic smile, and Rachel laughed. Carter and Abby. Meant to be. She smiled at Ella, and began to braid her hair slowly.

Elizabeth came around the corner soon after, and they all went to the house. Rachel lay awake in her bed that night, praying Luke would call.

_**I promise I might**_

_**Not walk on by**_

_**Maybe this time**_

_**But not this time**_

It was Monday that Luke called her with an answer, and the answer was yes, she could use his gun, and yes, he would try to stick with the plan. Monday was a blur, Rachel spent the whole day on the phone planning exact times and meeting places, playing with Ella, and eating meals with Elizabeth.

Rachel knew that Elizabeth would forbid her to go to St. Louis alone. Tuesday it rained. Rachel woke up slowly, dressed slowly, ate slowly. Elizabeth asked her what was wrong, she just shook her head and looked down at her cheerios.

Rachel played with Ella for most of the day, and they ordered pizza for lunch. Night came, and Rachel refused to eat dinner. She knew she had to focus everything on the plan. As she sat on her bed, going over things in her mind, Elizabeth came in.

"What's wrong? And please do not tell me that nothing is, for I can see it in your eyes." Elizabeth said. Rachel looked at her. She didn't want to lie, but she had to.

"I just keep thinking about Craig, you know? You said he might file a lawsuit, well, I just, keep wondering." Rachel said, her voice smooth as silk.

"Oh, honey, I won't let you go that easily." Elizabeth said, kissed her forehead, and left the bedroom. Rachel picked up her cell and dialed Luke's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey babe, everything is set. The train gets in at 4:30, meet me there with the gun."

"Okay, okay, you don't need to explain the rest of it, I've heard it thousands of times."

"Luke….do you think what I'm doing is wrong?"

"What do you mean, Rach?"

"Well, it is murder. And my mother loves me."

"No! It's not wrong! First of all, if your mother really truly deeply loves him, then she's sick in the head, no offense. Second, he is attempting murder on one of your family members, he beat you, and he raped you. You have a perfect right."

"Luke, you're a lifesaver. Hey I have to go. Love you, see you tomorrow."

"Love you, bye."

_ Rachel walked down an empty dirt road, Mark by her side. They laughed and talked about numerous things, enjoying each others company. Soon Jen came to join them, but suddenly a black car pulled up beside them. A mysterious figure emerged from the driver's seat, and dragged Jen, kicking and screaming, into the car. The sky began to fill with clouds. Soon Elizabeth walked beside them, holding onto Mark tightly. A bright white light appeared at the end of the road, and Ella came running down the middle of it. She jumped into Rachel's arms, but quickly cried out for Elizabeth. It began to storm so hard they couldn't see a thing. _

_ All of a sudden, the black car pulled up by them again. This time the figure took Mark, kicking and screaming. Elizabeth was crying, but pushed Rachel away. Soon the black car came by again, and the black figure grabbed Rachel. It began to beat on her, kick her, hurt her. The creature lifted its hood, and she saw that it was Craig. She looked to her left, and saw the rotting faces of Jen and Mark. _

"DADDY!" Rachel screamed aloud, as she woke from her dream, shaking. A few minutes later, Elizabeth came rushing into her room. Rachel shivered, cold sweat dripping down her body.

"What? What is it!" Elizabeth frantically asked.

"Dad and Jen, they were….they were…dead…and Craig hit me again and you hated me and so did Ella, and- and-" she started hyperventilating.

Elizabeth looked at her with worried eyes.

She placed a hand on her shoulders, "It was a dream, Rachel, calm down. Just a dream, alright?"

Rachel shook her head. "It was real."

"You dreamed that your father and mother were dead?"

" Jen is not my mother." She stated.

"Yes she is, Rachel, no matter how hard you deny it. You may hate her, but if-'

"Oh spare me that shit Elizabeth! The whole 'you will end up regretting it for the rest of your life' lecture! You did that on Hawaii when dad died, but you didn't even call to me. I came up and discovered him dead, started crying, and you LEFT me there! Everyone who has ever 'loved' me has left me!"

"I didn't leave you at the park, or the porch steps, Rachel!"

"You did that for Ella!"

"I love you! Rachel I did It for you!"

"I'm sorry but every time someone I love says they love me back, I know to expect the worst treatment and be used over and over again because whoever 'loves' me is a liar! The only one whoever lived up to that promise was Luke, but he's usually drunk and I'm just not ready!"

"Rachel!" Elizabeth cried, but words could not describe how much she wanted to steal her pain away.

"Mommy!" she said, but covered her mouth immediately.

"I-I.."

But Rachel sprang from her bed and ran out of her room. Elizabeth chased her down the hallway, and grabbed her arm. Rachel wrenched free and ran into Elizabeth's bedroom. Elizabeth grabbed her shoulders and gently forced her on the bed. Rachel was pinned on her side, Elizabeth holding her around the waist and grasping her elbow tightly.

Elizabeth laid her head on Rachel's neck, and whispered, "I'm sorry that every loved one in your life has treated you in this manner. I haven't been that well with you myself. But I'm willing to make it up, and you can't blame Ella for anything, she's just a child."

"I wasn't going to…" Rachel sobbed.

"I love you, and don't ever forget that. I am your mother."

"And I am your daughter." Rachel cried, and tried hard to stop her tears.

Elizabeth released Rachel's elbow, and lay down beside her. Rachel rolled over, and snuggled her head into Elizabeth's shoulder, feeling safe for one of the first times in her life.

_**I promise I might**_

_**Not walk on by**_

_**Maybe next time**_

_**But not this time**_

Wednesday morning was dreary. It took a long time for Rachel to pull away from Elizabeth's embrace. She had never had a loving caring mother like her. Rachel got dressed in jeans, a tight shirt, and a big black sweatshirt. She pulled her hair back and put her shoes on, and waited for Elizabeth patiently at the breakfast table.

Elizabeth came down in a robe as usual and smiled at her. "Morning. Well, your sure up early. What's the matter?"

Rachel laughed, but inside, she was thinking _EVERYTHING. _"I'm going over to Angela's for a sleepover."

"This early in the morning?" Elizabeth inquired.

"No, I just woke up early. I'm going over about three."

"What are you going to do for the rest of the day? I'm taking Ella to daycare, you know that."

"Well I figured I'd just browse around town. I mean, if that's alright with you."

"Sure, sure. But, Rachel!" Elizabeth cried after her, because she was already getting up from her chair.

"About last night-'

"I want to thank you" Rachel interrupted, "very much." She hugged Elizabeth quickly, then left the house.

She walked down the wet street, tears trickling down her cheeks. What if Luke's worries came true? What if something went wrong? What if she died? She didn't want to do that to Ella or Elizabeth. But she had to save Jen. She just had to.

A few hours later, Rachel walked down the busy sidewalk downtown. It was freezing. Tears trickled down her cheeks. She didn't understand any of this. Why did her mom have to be with that bastard! She sighed when she stopped in front of County. "Bye Elizabeth. I hope I'll get to see you again." She wiped her eyes vigorously, and went across the street to Doc Magoo's. She didn't want to talk to Luke, so she turned off her cell.

The waitress led her to a booth, and gave her a gentle smile, seeing the young girl's red rimmed eyes. She handed her a menu. "My name is Trina, I'll be your server this afternoon. Anything to drink?"

"Yeah, coffee please." Trina nodded, "order when your ready." She then left the table.

Rachel put her head down on the table, wishing it all away. All of a sudden she heard a familiar voice cry her name. She looked up and saw Susan Lewis standing in front of her.

"Hey" she said shakily, standing up and giving her a hug.

"Do you mind If I sit with you?" she said.

Rachel shook her head, "not at all."

The two talked until Trina brought Rachel her coffee. "Well hello Ms. Lewis. Do you know this girl?"

Susan nodded. "Could I get some coffee too? I'm not going to eat. Ready to order Rachel?"

"Yeah, I'll have some toast and a fried egg." Trina scribbled the order down on her pad. "Coming right up."

"So, how have you been?" Susan asked.

Rachel's inside crumbled, as a tear ran down her cheek. "Not too good, Susan."

Susan quickly moved to Rachel's side of the booth. "What's wrong, sweetie?"

"Craig is going to kill my mother. He said if I don't come home by today he will." Rachel sobbed.

Susan wrapped her arms around her, and rocked her back and forth. "It's okay. It's okay. Honey, we have to call the police."

Rachel pulled back, a horrified look on her tearstained face. "No! I'm going there today to shoot the bastard so I'll take care of it!" Rachel clasped her hand over her mouth once she had realized what she said.

"Rachel, you can't. I'd shoot him too, but it puts you in a lot of danger. We have to get Elizabeth."

"NO! YOU CAN'T!" Rachel shrieked, and got up from the table. Then she ran from the restaurant. Trina, holding Rachel's eggs and toast gave Susan a confused look.

"Rachel!" Susan cried after the girl, but it was too late. Rachel had disappeared.

_**Even though I know**_

_**I don't wanna know**_

_**Yeah I guess I know**_

_**I just hate how it sounds.**_

Rachel sat on the train, her forehead up against the window. She wished on her lucky stars that Susan hadn't told Elizabeth. She turned her cell phone on, and saw that Luke had called three times. She quickly punched in his number, and hit the call button.

"Hey baby, I called you about a thousand times."

"Hey Luke sorry but I ran into one of the doctors In the ER, and I think Elizabeth might know I'm going to St. Louis."

"Look, sweetie, it'll be a clean shot and a quick wipe. We already have all the safety set up."

"A clean shot and a quick wipe! What does that even mean?"

"I don't know."

"Thought so. Just meet me at 4:30. I gotta go, love you, bye."

"Okay, love you too, bye."

_**If I traded it all**_

_**If I gave it all away**_

_**For one thing**_

_**Just for one thing**_

Susan ran across the icy street, she had to get Elizabeth. She tripped over the curb, and fell on her stomach. Kerry, waiting in the ambulance bay for a trauma saw this. She told Jing-Mei to cover her, and rushed over to Susan. She grabbed Susan's wrist and pulled her to her feet.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kerry asked. Susan's cheek was bleeding. "Let me patch that up, come on."

"But I have to get to Elizabeth!" Susan yelled, as they entered an empty exam room.

"Why?" Kerry asked softly.

Susan trembled, and a tear ran down her left cheek. Kerry put some gloves on, and sat down next to her. "Rachel! Craig, her mothers boyfriend threatened to kill her if she didn't come home. So Rachel wants to go to St. Louis, to SHOOT him."

Kerry's eyes went wide. "She could get hurt. Badly."

Susan sobbed. "I know! And none of this would have happened if Mark hadn't of died. Oh, God, Mark!" Susan lost it. She didn't know what was making her so emotional, as she sat on the gurney, head in her hands.

Kerry wrapped an arm around Susan's shaking shoulders. Susan was really crying now. She turned slightly, so Kerry slid her arm off of her. Susan closed her eyes tightly, and her mouth began to quiver. "Dr. Lewis…" Kerry started, but Susan let out a loud sob. Susan wrapped her arm around Kerry's waist and began crying into her lab coat. Weaver wrapped her arms around Susan, holding her. Kerry's eyes filled with tears as she rubbed Susan's back. "I miss him too, Susan."

"I was the one that first knew ab-about h-his tumor coming back! I sh-should of told Elizabeth right away. Carter thought I was ch-cheating on him with Mark. Mark and I were never meant to b-be but I still lo-lo-loved him! Oh God!"

Kerry tightened her grip on Susan and started crying herself. "I loved him too. I had a fit when I heard he died."

Susan couldn't say anything, but her cries explained everything.

All of a sudden, the door to the exam room opened, and Elizabeth walked in. "Dr. Weav-' she said, but stopped when she saw the sight before her.

"What's wrong with her?" Elizabeth asked tentatively.

"Elizabeth, I need to tell you something." Kerry said.

Susan sat up, and wiped her eyes. She couldn't speak, there was still a huge lump in her throat. She stared at the ground and trembled, the tears still streaming down her face. She hadn't cried for Mark yet, and she was paying for it now.

Kerry explained the situation to Elizabeth, who's eyes soon got wide. She rushed to the admit desk, and snatched the phone from Jerry's hand. She hung it up, and dialed Angela's number, since she knew her stepdaughters friends mom. "Hello? Janie. Hi. Is Rachel over there? No! Okay, thankyou. Goodbye."

As Kerry got up to follow her, Susan told her she was going to the lounge. Kerry nodded and exited the exam room.

Elizabeth nearly fainted, but Jerry caught her around the waist. "I have to get to St. Louis." She said dazedly.

Kerry looked at her. "Not without us your not. I'm going to get Susan."

Kerry walked into the lounge, where Susan sat. Susan looked up at her. "My old boyfriend in Phoenix used to hit me, you know. That's part of the reason I came back to Chicago. But Mark was with Elizabeth. And now he's dead." She managed to say this, but kept trembling and crying.

"Wait, back up. Your old boyfriend hit you?"

Susan nodded her head. "L-like there was no tomorrow. H-he liked burning me with his cigarettes, mostly."

"Dr. Lewis, Susan, I'm so sorry. I had no idea" Kerry said, sitting next to her on the couch. Susan was sitting on her legs, as she looked down at the floor. She looked back up at Kerry.

Susan batted her hand. "Whatever. I just w-wanted t-to thank-' but she couldn't finish. All the memories flooded back to her, and the only thing that emitted from her mouth were body-wracking sobs. Susan's head fell forward on Kerry's lap. Kerry pulled her up into a hug, as Susan cried into her shoulder.

Once Susan had calmed down she hugged Kerry, and agreed to help Elizabeth find Rachel.

Elizabeth walked into the exam room and smiled half-heartedly. "Katherine will watch Ella tonight. Let's go?"

The two women nodded, and the three walked out of the hospital. "Wait" said Kerry, "who's going to cover our shifts?"

Elizabeth smiled. "Jing-Mei will cover yours, and Luka will cover Susan's."

Elizabeth shot a worried glance Susan's way. "Thanks" she said, her hands shaking. Kerry rubbed her back reassuringly. This was going to be a long night.

_**If I sorted it all**_

_**If I knew how I'd fall**_

_**Just for one thing**_

_**Wouldn't that be something?**_

Rachel looked at the time. 4:15. She would be arriving in St. Louis soon. She called Luke, and asked him where he was waiting. He told her right outside the station.

Rachel got off the train when it arrived, and looked around hopefully for Luke. She felt a tap on her shoulder. She spun around, and jumped in his arms. She kissed him hard and long.

"I'm so happy to see you, baby!" he cried.

"I know!" she cried, wrapping her arms around his neck. He planted another kiss on her and she smiled.

He pulled away and looked at her seriously with his stony blue eyes. "I have the gun."

Rachel nodded quickly, and outstretched her hand. He pulled a black gun, and placed it in her hand. She tucked it under her sweatshirt, and looked at him. She called Craig.

"Hey."

"Hi, Craig."

"You coming today?"

"Yes."

"Now?"

"Yes."

"I'll see you then, bye."

"Bye."

Rachel snapped the phone shut, and shoved It in her back pocket. "Now" she said to Luke excitedly, "where were we?"

He gave her a playful smirk and put his hands on her waist, lowering his mouth to hers.

_**Hope dangles on a string**_

_**Like slow spinning redemption**_

_**Winding in**_

_**Winding out**_

_**The shine of it has caught my eye**_

_**And roped me in so mesmerizing**_

_**And so hypnotizing **_

_**I am captivated **_

Kerry and Susan sat across from Elizabeth. "I'm sure she's fine." Says Susan carefully.

"Fine? Fine? What do you mean fine?" Elizabeth snapped, "she's in possession of a gun for god's sake!"

"Do you know her cell number? She might have it with her." Kerry asked.

Elizabeth shook her head. "This is not going to have a good come out."

"How about we get some rest?" Kerry suggested. Elizabeth seemed to agree, and closed her eyes instantly.

A few minutes later, Kerry felt a presence on her shoulder. Susan was sleeping on it. Kerry sighed, and closed her eyes.

_**I am vindicated **_

_**I am selfish I am wrong**_

_**I am right, I swear I'm right**_

_**Swear I knew it all along**_

_**And I am flawed**_

_**But I am cleaning up so well**_

_**I am seeing in me now**_

_**The things you swore you saw yourself **_

Rachel and Luke stood outside Rachel's house. "Are you ready to go in?" he asked softly. She hugged herself quickly. "I think."

"I'll be your back up, you know that."

"Okay, but Luke, If I don't make it out-

"Don't even say that, you will! I love you." He pulled her into his arms, and kissed her ferociously. She kissed him back with all the passion she had. "I love you too."

With that, she shakily made her way up the porch steps. She raised her knuckles, and knocked on the door softly. The door creaked open, and there stood Craig. He was dressed in torn jeans and a clean tight-fitting T-shirt. His hair was messed up, his eyes bloodshot. He was drunk. He grabbed Rachel by her arm, and pulled her into the house. Things were tossed everywhere, chairs and books askew. Rachel's legs shook.

"Where's my mother?"

He gave her a glare, and grabbed her elbow roughly. She gasped when she saw her mother. She was tied to a chair in the middle of the kitchen floor, duct tape over her mouth. Both of her cheeks had been cut, and she had bruises up and down her left arm.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER!" Rachel screamed.

Craig had a hold on Rachel's forearm now. "I just knocked her around a bit. There is one more thing we have to do before I let your mother gets released."

Craig leaned forward and kissed her. "EW! NO!" Rachel said, pushing him off. She stuck her hand under her sweatshirt, preparing to pull out the gun.

So clear 

_**Like the diamond in your wrong**_

_**Cuts to mirror your intention**_

_**Oversized and overwhelmed**_

_**The shine of which has caught my eye**_

_**Rendering so isolated**_

_**So motivated**_

_**I am certain now that I am**_

"Train now arriving in St. Louis. It's 7:30 a.m. folks."

Everyone woke up. Susan tried to fix her hair in the window reflection. Kerry wiped her eyes. Elizabeth glared at them both, grabbed their hands, and they were off the train in a matter of seconds.

Meanwhile………

Rachel had the gun in her hand under her sweatshirt. She drew it out and pointed it at Craig. He looked at her with shock. The next even was a blur. He shot Jen in the head. Rachel's eyes went wide. "YOU BASTARD!" she screamed, fired at Craig, but missed and hit the window behind him, shattering it.

At that moment Luke came rushing in. "Don't touch he-' he started, but a bullet landed straight in his heart. His eyes rolled back In his head, and he dropped to the ground, dead. "LUKE!" Rachel screamed, tears streaming down her face.

Kerry, Elizabeth, and Susan all stepped out of the cab in front of Rachel's house. The sun was already set, and a cool stormy wind was hitting the air. All of a sudden Elizabeth heard Rachel scream. They all rushed through the open door into the house. They saw Jen, dead, tied to a chair. They saw a teenage boy lying in the hallway, bleeding badly from the chest. They looked up and saw Rachel, pointing the gun at Craig.

Rachel felt a presence behind her, but she didn't care. She squeezed her eyes shut tight, and pulled the trigger. Two loud gunshots rang the air at once. The first landed in the middle of Craig's forehead, so you could guess he died. The second hit Rachel in the left side of her chest. She fell backwards on the floor, as Elizabeth screamed.

Susan ripped out her cell and dialed 911. Kerry picked Rachel up. "We need to get her to a hospital. Fast."

Vindicated 

_**I am selfish, I am wrong**_

_**I am right, I swear I'm right**_

_**Swear I knew it all along**_

_**And I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well**_

_**I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself**_

"Oh, god" Elizabeth said, staring at her stepdaughter in shock. She carefully reached out to touch Rachel's pale face.

"Elizabeth" Kerry said sternly, "Elizabeth. Did you hear me? We have to get her to a hospital."

"I already dialed 911, Kerry." Susan said.

"Oh."

"But" Elizabeth said quietly, her lips quivering, "what if she's not okay? We have to take a look at her NOW."

"It's not safe for any one of us to work on her" Kerry said, her voice also shaking, "we all knew and loved her. We can't do anything."

Before Elizabeth could reply, the wailing sounds of sirens whined through the quiet night. Kerry stood up, Rachel In her arms, and they walked outside. The paramedics loaded her onto a gurney. "Can we go in the ambulance with her?" Kerry asked hopefully.

"Are you a relative?"

"I'm her stepmother" Elizabeth said, "and these are my coworkers. We all knew her."

The paramedic gave them a frown of disapproval, but beckoned them on with his hand.

Everything's so blurry And everyone's so fake 

_**And everybody's empty**_

_**And everything is so messed up**_

_**Been occupied without you**_

_**I cannot live at all**_

_**My whole world surrounds you**_

_**I stumbled and I crawled**_

The three doctors waited in the hospital lobby. Elizabeth was sleeping, her head on Susan's lap, and Susan was sleeping, her head on Kerry's shoulder. Kerry was the only one awake. A man stepped through the doorway. "Hello?" he said quietly.

Kerry rose, gently laying Susan's head on the couch's armrest. "Are you the stepmother?"

"No, no. I'm a close friend." She said. He sighed and took her arm, leading her to an empty room.

"Well, perhaps I should tell you, so you can tell her. I'm not used to telling relatives of patients bad news."

Kerry closed her eyes, and opened them again, a tear running down her cheek. "B-bad news?"

"The bullet hit an artery attached to the heart. It burst, and blood wasn't able to get to the heart. That means-'

"I know what it means! I'm the chief of emergency medicine in my own hospital for gods sake!" she yelled.

He looked at her. "The stepmother can come by to see her body. I'm sorry."

You could be my someone You could be my sea 

_**Know that I'll protect you**_

_**From all of the obscene**_

_**I wondering what your doing**_

_**Imagine where you are**_

_**There's oceans in between us**_

_**But that's not very far**_

Kerry walked back to the hospital lobby, dazed. She woke Susan up gently. Susan stood up, wiping her eyes. "The doctor talked to me."

"Is she okay?" Susan asked.

Kerry shook her head. "No. The bullet hit an artery near the heart, and-'

A lump formed in Susan's throat. She sank back down on the couch. "I can't believe this" she said softly, "you have to tell Elizabeth. I-I can't bear to."

Kerry nodded. "Okay."

Susan stepped out into the hallway, trying to breath. She sank down against the wall. How could this happen? Why had Rachel been so stupid? The only answer to her questions was the stillness of the air.

Can you take it all away 

_**Can you take it all away**_

_**When you shoved it in my face**_

_**Explain again to me**_

_**Can you take it all away**_

_**Can you take it all away**_

_**When you shoved it in my face**_

Elizabeth felt someone shake her shoulder. She sat up next to Kerry. "What is it?" she asked groggily.

"I talked to the doctor" Kerry said softly, squeezing her hands together.

"And? Is she alright?" inquired Elizabeth frantically.

"The bullet hit an artery attached to the heart, and it burst. No blood was able to, well, you know. I'm sorry."

"No!" Elizabeth cried, jumping from the couch suddenly. "No! Your lying! Your joking! I want to talk to the doctor!"

Kerry stood up, and took Elizabeth's hands. "Elizabeth. Elizabeth! She's gone, I'm sorry."

"Why didn't she just tell me?" Elizabeth said, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Why? God, this Is all my fault."

"No it isn't. The doctor says that you can see her body." Kerry said, now sobbing.

"Kerry.." she said. She fell into the other woman's arms, and they sank down to the ground, both sobbing.

Everybody's changing 

_**There's no one left that's real**_

_**So make up your own ending**_

_**And let me know just how you feel**_

Susan stepped into the lobby. Her eyes were bloodshot. "Elizabeth, the doctor says you can see the body now."

She sat on the couch. Elizabeth rose, and the doctor led her to a quiet room where Rachel's body lay. She looked upon the pale face of her stepdaughter, and stroked her cheek. "Goodbye."

The funeral was held a week later. Almost all the ER staff came, some who didn't even know Rachel. Ella was devastated, but kept old photos of her sister, each night having them clutched close to her heart. Elizabeth resumed working, but was never the same again, not regarding abuse cases at least.

I am lost without you 

_**I cannot live at all**_

_**My whole world surrounds you**_

_**I stumble and I crawl**_

_**I wonder what your doing**_

_**I wonder where you are**_

_**There's oceans in between us**_

_**But that's not very far. **_

Note: Know that I like the character Rachel. But this is a sad story. Anyways, I hope you guys review. goes to work on chapter ten of 'just a regular day in the ER'

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